According to textbooks and every other American we meet, there are 50 states in the United States of America. We know them, we love them, but do they all exist? I am here today to get to the bottom of exactly this question. Ever since we were born into this beer drinking, gun-toting mosh pit of a nation, we have been raised and molded with one central idea; that there are 50 states in this great nation. Not 49, not 51, but exactly 50. Now, what first opened my eyes to this intricate conspiracy is the fact that there are exactly 50. Now what in the hell are the odds of that? How is it possible that the number of states in this union landed exactly on 50? That seems like God’s work, does it not? So with this question in mind, I hit the library to research and study this anomaly, and it is there that I came across something truly astounding. The notorious state of North Dakota does not exist! Now I know this may come as a shock to you all, so I will give you a moment to catch your breath. Ready? Excellent. North Dakota does not exist as a state. It is simply a government ploy developed late in the 19th century as a front for a side project the government has been working on up until this very day! Where this so-called “North Dakota” lies is actually an interdimensional portal that transports those who cross its threshold to another dimension, never to return! They’ve been using all that travel to the false state as test subjects to see what happens when a human enters an interdimensional portal. The government is using our people as lab rats and no one has even batted an eye at this atrocity. For those who dispute my claim by saying that they “live” there or have “family” there, let me just tell you this; you either are just a figment of all of our imaginations or your family members are. North Dakota does not exist and neither do you. And for those of you who do not believe me, I will be traveling to this so-called “North Dakota” to prove to you all that it is nothing but an elaborate ruse. Heck, I may even enter that portal and see where it leads, or even perhaps bring back one of them government test subjects and have them tell you all about this.